Ok...this is dam long...but dam funny...
Who says our English is teruk?
Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective, etc.........
WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Singaporeans: No Stock.
RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments
ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?
ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY .
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Singaporeans: kew me
WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Singaporeans:No-need...Lim bei pay lah.
WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Singaporeans: Siam lar!
WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Singaporeans: Don't shy, lah!
WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Singaporeans: Where got?
IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Singaporeans: Siao lar you!
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Singaporeans: Diam lar!
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time...Do I know you?
Singaporeans: See what see? Never see people before?
WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Singaporeans: Die-lah!! Shit Lar!!! Jia Lat!!!
WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Singaporeans: Oei...[point at someone]You tell lim bei wat happen....
WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,
Singaporeans: like that also don't know how to do!!!! You Stupid ar!?
WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Singaporeans: What the f...!