Ok...this is dam long...but dam funny...
Who says our English is teruk? 
Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective, etc......... 
WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS 
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you. 
Singaporeans: No Stock. 
RETURNING A CALL 
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments 
ago? 
Malaysians: Hello, who page? 
ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY . 
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way? 
Singaporeans: kew me 
WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY 
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me. 
Singaporeans:No-need...Lim bei pay lah. 
WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION 
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door? 
Singaporeans: Siam lar! 
WHEN ENTERTAINING 
Britons: Please make yourself right at home. 
Singaporeans: Don't shy, lah! 
WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE 
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money. 
Singaporeans: Where got? 
IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION 
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue. 
Singaporeans: Siao lar you! 
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE. 
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here. 
Singaporeans: Diam lar! 
WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU. 
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time...Do I know you? 
Singaporeans: See what see? Never see people before? 
WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION. 
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment. 
Singaporeans: Die-lah!! Shit Lar!!! Jia Lat!!!  
WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED 
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened? 
Singaporeans: Oei...[point at someone]You tell lim bei wat happen....  
WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG 
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you, 
Singaporeans: like that also don't know how to do!!!! You Stupid ar!? 
WHEN ONE IS ANGRY 
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me 
Singaporeans: What the f...!