Ok...this is dam long...but dam funny...


Who says our English is teruk?


Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective, etc.........



WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS

Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Singaporeans: No Stock.



RETURNING A CALL

Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments
ago?

Malaysians: Hello, who page?



ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY .

Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?

Singaporeans: kew me



WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY

Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.

Singaporeans:No-need...Lim bei pay lah.



WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION

Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Singaporeans: Siam lar!



WHEN ENTERTAINING

Britons: Please make yourself right at home.

Singaporeans: Don't shy, lah!



WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE

Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.

Singaporeans: Where got?



IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION

Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.

Singaporeans: Siao lar you!



WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.

Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.

Singaporeans: Diam lar!



WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.

Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time...Do I know you?

Singaporeans: See what see? Never see people before?



WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.

Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.

Singaporeans: Die-lah!! Shit Lar!!! Jia Lat!!!



WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED

Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?

Singaporeans: Oei...[point at someone]You tell lim bei wat happen....



WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG

Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,

Singaporeans: like that also don't know how to do!!!! You Stupid ar!?



WHEN ONE IS ANGRY

Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me

Singaporeans: What the f...!